Well, that’s annoying.

i do a pretty good job of making sure the blogs I follow tend to promote positive body image and self love. But I just saw some serious bullshit about how if you’re looking for motivation to lose weight, you should eat in front of the mirror naked. Seriously? I feel like enough of us wake up in the morning and struggle with the choice to eat. That kind of shit has no place in anyone’s life. Maybe sit in front of the mirror and tell yourself that you are a living, breathing, amazing thing, and that you deserve to do whatever makes you happy, let alone something for survival. I just can’t. 

Wait! There’s more!

Just found:

-poop drops (make the smell go away when you poo)

-a GPS

-6 lighters 

Going to go through my stuff from college more often. 

YES! I FOUND THE NAIL POLISH I THOUGHT I LOST!

Small victories. 

I think sometimes it’s about forgiving people. Sometimes people fuck up, and circumstances change, and sometimes things just really do turn out alright. 

I really don’t get the whole bacon thing.

I know this makes me weird. I like the smell, but I just don’t like the taste. Same thing with coffee. I feel like a lot of you are going to think I’m literally satan, but I’m just gonna leave this out here.

I dunno what’s wrong this week

I just feel so self conscious. Like, I don’t even want to take off my clothes in front of my boyfriend. I just feel really gross. Hopefully going for a few runs a week when I get back home will help. :/

Why do they make the unfollow button right under where the queue/post button is?

Like, it’s not even noon. I’m not going to be that careful.

I fucking hate living at home

I literally cannot anymore, but I can’t move out until I find a job that’ll pay for at least half of an apartment. Also, was reminded by my bitch of a sister today that it’s been a year since graduation (almost) and I haven’t done anything. Like, I know bitch. I wanted to take a year and figure my shit out, but apparently that’s not okay. 

I need to find a job so I can get away from my mother and her crazy shit. It’s taken me awhile, but she’s really just a really toxic person for me. She makes me doubt myself all the time, and gives me shit about my relationship. I don’t even get it. And yeah, I’m ridiculous too, sometimes, but I don’t intentionally make her feel like shit. 

I just want to sleep until someone finds a job for me and teaches me how to be an adult. Seriously. 

So if anyone knows anyone who’s hiring for something that’s not shit in NY that maybe has something to do with HR or industrial psychology, please, I beg you, save me. 

Eating is definitely getting better

I was kinda struggling with eating compulsively for a couple weeks, but I think I’ve gotten it mostly under control. Not full out binging like it was a few years ago, but still.

This is a good thing.

Just made Irish soda bread!

Body Positivity and Weight loss

So, I feel like this is something I’ve thought about a bunch and I really don’t know how I feel about it. I’m 100% for all people doing whatever makes them happy with their bodies, regardless of how other people see it, but I just feel like it’s so hard to have a blog that’s definitely focused on ultimately losing weight. Yes, my main goals are just to make decisions that make me feel healthy and happy, but I guess where I have a problem is that I don’t want anyone else to take that as me somehow suggesting that the only way to be healthy is to be losing weight. It’s not. 

I guess I’m kind of looking for ways to make this blog more inclusive of all body types, and to focus on health without posting a million photos of food, which I know gets old. I know one thing that really helped me move towards accepting my body more was seeing photos of other people who have a type of body that is similar to my own, but I also don’t want that to be misconstrued as “reverse thinspo” or whatever that shit is. 

I guess it’s just really hard to even focus on weight loss as a goal for myself without worrying about how it affects other people. :/ 

My bf has left me in his house with his mom while he’s at work

Does it look weird if I just sit upstairs until he gets home? I just can’t. So awkward.

Applying for jobs is kinda rough and soul-crushing

Buuuut, I just finished 2 more applications. Both for teller positions in banks. 

I maybe just got a temp job or had my identity stolen

YAY!

Just completed my resume without feeling sad/freaking out

Progress, bitches.